There's a Million Reasons Why [Alec]

[Hannah Parker]

A black halo of hair encircled Hannah’s head as she bent slightly over the keyboard, her eyes watching her long, thin fingers as they coaxed complicated waterfalls of melody from the ivory and ebony keys that, despite years of use, looked somehow new and unblemished by age. She’d had a piano much like this one, in a room just one door down from where she slept, and every single day her and her father would sit down and play for however long they felt like. It was a beautiful memory, but it was not on her mind that day, and in fact, the way she was playing now, and the reason, were very different than the way that they had been back then. Today, the tip of Hannah’s wand was lit, and as her fingers raced across the keys, each moment pulling a more complicated melody from the strings hidden from her by the lacquered wood, notes scrawled across a piece of paper, tracking the tones that rang out in the air as she played them. It was a sweet melody, one that spoke of hope and promise and, above all, a future. A future she craved with every fiber of her being. A future of success.

This was how it always was. Whether it was a rehearsal or a performance, whether she was singing or dancing or playing, it didn’t matter, she lost herself I the music. She let it fill her and drive her, and she surrendered herself to it completely. Time stopped. The world around her ceased to exist. All that moved was her, and the piano. It was as if everything in the universe was turning towards her, ears perked and prepared for her song. As she played, she felt to world pull into harmony, and her pulse beat to the rhythm of the song, the corners of her mouth pulling up towards her ears, looking, probably for the first time in at least a month, at peace. It had been in December that her father’s ship had found its way to the bottom of the sea with him in it, and every time the snow began to fall, she was reminded of him, and by extension, of her mother and the cramped Chinatown apartment they had been forced to live in after he had died. Every year, around this time, she got quiet, withdrawn, sad… almost as if every year she was reliving the experience, like an old wound was being ripped open.

However, the isolation and the quiet harmony lasted only so long as the music did, and as the last chord faded from the air, Hannah took a deep breath as she pulled her hands back from the keys, letting them settle in her lap and turning her head slightly to the side, seeing a familiar, dark figure out of the corner of her eye. “Hello, Alec.” Her voice was quiet, almost a whisper, as she flicked her dark brown eyes up to meet his ocean blue ones, the same ones that most people called cutting and degrading, but… well actually she would probably say that too. If you pissed him off, Alec was your worst enemy, but he was also, as she had found out quite some time ago, a very powerful ally. His name carried weight, and influence in the underground world of New York City, not that that was the reason behind her continued residence at the Van Alstyne manor, and so long as you were loyal to him, you weren’t on his shit list. Which was a good thing, since people on his shit list tended to end up dead.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Her voice wasn’t sarcastic or rude, as so many people might expect her to be, but polite and almost subtly familiar, though she didn’t allow herself that at the moment. One never knew who was listening, and besides, if she let herself sound familiar, it was only a matter of time before someone discovered whatever feelings she had locked away in the deep recesses of her mind, just waiting to be unleashed. Reaching up, Hannah gently ran one hand through her long, black hair as she looked at him, her deep eyes surveying him and wondering; why now? She knew that he had heard her pay before, usually when Shira had come running in to talk to her, or to spend time with her, but very rarely did he make himself known like he was now. So why? She tried not to read into it too much, but when it came to Alec, that was hard, just like it always was. Why did she have to have a stupid crush on him? Why could she have a crush on someone more… attainable? Her and Alec might in the same economic class, but dating someone who wasn’t Asian would never fly for the future of the Don of the Upper West Side.


Tag: @alec

[Deleted]

The music room was a place he was quite familiar with when growing up. While Eric Matthew Van Alstyne roamed around doing what he wanted when he wanted, Alec always stuck to a strict, regimented schedule that included piano practice because there was no way Aldrich Van Alstyne was going to have his son be uneducated in the arts… or culture for that matter. His brother, on the other hand, was able to get away with a lot more and at times, Alec had to admit that he envied such a life. That was… as far as his envy went though. Just feeling. If there was anyone who understood duty and sacrifice, it would be the “shadow” lurking near the room as the melodic sounds drifted from the piano to the open doorway.

He was leaning against the doorframe with his hands in the pockets of his slacks. Today had been a long one, certainly one that drained a lot of his mental energy after waking up in the early hours of the morning to host meetings with New York bankers. By now, his buttoned down shirt was untucked and the top few buttons near the collar were unbuttoned. He seemed… a bit more relaxed than he usually was – in appearance, anyway.

It wasn’t until she called his name did he turn to glance into the lit room, catching sight of the woman he had agreed to take in after his sister begged. And begged.

… and begged. Jesus Christ was that girl persistent.

Alec was no stranger to eye contact, and he definitely wasn’t one to fail in a staring contest. He was a shrewd businessman to his very core and even carried that demeanor into basic human interaction. So, yes, he did cut people down if they undermined him and his authority, and no he didn’t blame anyone if they feared him… or feared conversing with him.

Pushing himself off the wall, Alec strode into the room rather slowly, moving at a sedate, purposeful pace until he approached the grand piano that was placed in this room upon his request. “The pleasure is mine,” he replied courteously as he pulled a hand out of his pocket and let his fingers slide against the policed wood of the grand piano. His eyes followed the trail of his fingertips rather forlornly, not unlike someone who was simply reminiscing over a lost childhood. “I figured… I’d hide for a bit.”

And if she were to look surprised by his answer, a corner of his lips would tick upward into a handsome crooked smile that made women swoon, especially the ones that his mother’s social parties. “The place is quiet when Shira isn’t here, isn’t it? She’ll be returning from her ballet in Boston next week. Winter performances… you know how it is.” Nodding in the direction of the piano keys, he paused when he was standing just beside her. “You play well.”

He lifted his hand and rested it on the keys until his fingers were positioned appropriately and then… he played a verse of a piece that… that he was actually composing. The melody was powerful, much like his own personality, yet somber… for while many looked to him to carry the weight of everything, there wasn’t really anyone he could look to lean on when he got… tired.

[Hannah Parker]

The only time Hannah really felt uncomfortable in the manor she had come so accustomed to living in was when Shira was gone. But yes, she knew how it was. Shira was a fantastic dancer, with talent she only wished she possessed, though she had a small amount of classical training, her skill had always lain in the two things she allowed herself to indulge in. Singing and piano. Occasionally she found herself at the barre with Shira, but it wasn’t something she was dedicated to, not like her other hobbies. However, her best friend was away in Boston, for what felt like far too long. She could have found a different place to stay, maybe, but she wasn’t the kind of person to do that… it would be an insult to the family that had so graciously taken her in when she needed them to. When she had nowhere else to go.

However, there were certain… perks that she couldn’t deny about living in the Van Alstyne house. Specifically, her older brother, Alec, the same man who had walked into the room that she loved spending most of her time in. It was strange seeing Alec like this, with his shirt untucked and, she noticed, partially unbuttoned, revealing the skin at the hollow of his throat. He looked a little more relaxed… but if Hannah knew anything about the man, she knew that appearances could certainly be deceiving. She had heard whispers about the boy, no, man, standing very close to her, close enough that she could smell the cologne that he wore. People feared him, said that he could be cruel, cutting, even terrifying… She didn’t blame them, she had seen the way he had acted towards people who had betrayed his trust or undermined his authority. But to her… to her he had never been anything but kind. Then again, she had never been stupid enough to act like she was better than him, like she controlled him. She knew that he could kick her out whenever he wanted, and she knew that she owed him… though that didn’t stop her from teasing him from time to time. She wouldn’t be herself if she didn’t. He spoke, and despite herself, her eyebrows lifted in surprise and a look of confusion flitted across her face. Why did he want to hide? What was going on that made him want to?

Although she tried to hide the look on her face, she apparently wasn’t successful, and the corners of his lips ticked up in that crooked smile that made her chest feel strangely tight. Her eyes widened a little, and she quickly turned her eyes back to the piano, pulling the sheets of music towards her and flicking through them, checking over the complicated mass of notes that she had recorded, before placing them off to the side of the board and placing her hands gently on the edge of the bench. He spoke again, and her deep brown eyes found their way back to his face, the angular planes that she had come to recognize so clearly. “Yes it is,” she had always noticed when her friend was away. There was a certain melodic laugh and happy energy that was blatantly absent from the halls of the home. It made the place feel empty, and as much as she tried to compensate, it wasn’t the same. “It feels… empty. Not quite the same… you know?” Her voice was quiet, reserved, as if she were ready for someone to lash out at her for speaking. It was a meekness that had forced its way into her life when she was a little girl, and one that she still couldn’t quite get rid of.

Hannah could feel him standing next to her, and it was the little things like this that she just… let herself feel. She wasn’t the kind of person to act on how she felt in reference to men she felt attracted to, she had learned early on that most of the men in her peer group wanted nothing to do with her. Even female friends were hard to come by, and the last thing she wanted was to alienate one of the few friends that she actually had. Still, when he did little things like compliment her, she could feel a blush start to ebb over her face, though she fought it hard. “Thank you,” she paused, “my father taught me when I was little, and I always used to wait, staring out the window until he got home so we could play.” There was a faraway, almost forlorn look in her eyes as she peered down at the familiar keys, though it was one she quickly blinked it away as he began to play his own piece.

She knew that he played, Shira often told her that they should play together sometime, but it wasn’t something that she had ever envisioned actually doing. The piece that he played contrasted sharply with the one that she had, powerful and somber and… remarkably provoking. Hannah’s smile returned, a genuine one, and she scooted down a bit on the piano bench, so she was more perched on the edge than fully sitting on it, patting the seat next to her. “Play with me?” If it were anybody else, literally anybody, she might be worried about the possible…. Implications of something that could be read as flirting, or an innuendo, but she hoped that the innocent look on her face would be enough to convince Alec of the innocent nature of her comment. She just wanted company, someone to spend time with her and maybe seek enjoyment out of the same things that she did. She just wanted a friend. Now, if she could just convince herself of that, she would be golden.

[Deleted]

“So I’ve heard,” Alec replied in his British drawl, still as sharp as a razor blade despite his rather fatigued – albeit slightly – demeanor. If she were to glance in his direction, he would merely return the eye contact and shrug with a noncommittal grin. His fingertips paused from their moment of play long enough for him to speak uninterrupted. “Despite what others may think, Hannah, I listen to every word they say. One cannot succeed without being attentive to details.” He eventually lifted his fingers from the keys and slipped them back into his pocket, standing idly nearby until she shifted in her seat and scooted down to the other side of the bench.

He glanced down at the raven-haired woman, lips parting just slightly as if in thought. “I believe the proper way to ask would be: will you play alongside me?” His slight accent coupled with his already arrogant, smug appearance was enough for many to already thing he’s a capital “D” douchebag. His answer may have been vague, but the fact that he managed to slip into the seat beside her at least told her he hadn’t rejected her plight.

At first he lifted one hand, resting it on the keys once more and then slowly began to play, letting the mood and the melody lift his spirts and, perhaps, hers. “We must rise from self-pity, Hannah,” he said as he raised his other hand and reached past her for the higher keys. His fingers moved expertly, picking up in rhythm and intensity and moved with a sort of power that only the heir to the Upper West Side could convey. And then just as quickly as the melody started and the pace of his piano-playing quickened, Alec suddenly stopped.

“Self-pity does us no good.” He turned slightly in her direction, tilting his head slightly that gave her a good look at his handsome profile. As compared to his siblings, both Eric and Shira, Alec was far harsher. Colder. A hard ass who tolerated little and expected far too much. The melody was strong and powerful. Moody and perhaps event angsty. “So don’t dwell in it…”

A small smile, a mere quirk of the lips, could be seen before he continued playing once more, making some of the notes up as he went. Such an ability was something that only those in the Van Alstyne manor have witnessed… but as far as the business world was concerned, Alec would prefer to keep private matters… rather private. As the song went along however, the tone lifted into something far more jovial. Far happier. Far more… shall we say “uppity.”

And even as he played, he said not a word, only allowing the music to speak for itself.

[Hannah Parker]

Hannah felt the heat rise to her cheeks before she even knew why she should be blushing in the first place, but the critical way Alec was looking at her, as well as the way his lips parted just characteristically so… She was partially captivated, and partially concerned that he thought less of her because of her tendency to slip up on the English phrasing of things. It wasn’t that she had a hard time with English, she had grown up learning both and Korean side by side, she just tended to let her grammar… lapse a little when she was relaxed as she was now, and she was silly to think that Alec wouldn’t have picked up on it. Of course he would have, he was Alec. However… he was not the only one who paid almost exhaustive amounts of attention to the things that people said. There was a benefit to being “unseen” in the world she lived in, it made her the best observer, and probably the best spy, around. Not that she had utilized these talents under orders, something that surprised her, but maybe, just maybe, Alec didn’t realize what a valuable asset she could be.

Of course the moment he sat down next to her, the thoughts of spying and being unseen and extraneous detail slipped away, replaced by a sudden shyness and desire to make him think that she was worthy of being in his presence. In his family’s presence. His hand took to the keys, and he pulled the melody of the song flow, speaking as she nodded along to his words, her eyes not once leaving the keys and the complicated patterns he was striking as the tones filled her, reverberating to her core and plucking something inside her that… she didn’t really know that she had. Did he think she pitied herself? And more importantly… did she? It was possible, after all, she had been through so much: both her parents had died, she was an outcast among people that were supposed to be her equals… but was her pity really justified in the first place? She might have been through a lot, but she had come out from it a lot better than most. After all, look at where she lived, who she had surrounded herself with. She had the money, she had the power, she had friends that, it appeared, cared a great deal about her… what did she have to mourn?

Whatever the answer might have been, she let it die on the tip of her tongue as she turned her head to look, finally, at his face, studying the sharp, handsome planes of his profile as if she were trying to riddle out his deepest secrets. Not that she would bother trying, she wasn’t that stupid, nor was she naïve enough to think that she could in the first place. It was true that Alec was much colder than Eric, and much colder than Shira, even to her, but she didn’t dwell on it. That’s who he was, that was what made him him, and she really wouldn’t have him any other way. After all, it was useless to push a cart sideways. Her small smile seemed to mirror Alec’s as he continued his dark, and slightly haunting, melody, one that reminded her, almost eerily so, of the very man sitting next to her. Tilting her head slightly to the side, she let the music wash over her, trying to ignore the slight tightness in her chest whenever his fingers, and his arm, extend towards the higher keys, and by extension, her body perched on the edge of the piano bench.

Slowly, the song morphed as Alec’s voice fell quiet, from something dark and brooding and so completely him, to something… happier, more inspiring… more like the tune she had just been playing. As his fingers went to the lower side of the keys, Hannah lifted her own hands, playing at the highest keys and unleashing a gentle, trilling melody that held all the things she did. Promise. Hope. A gentle kind of passion and compassion. Sometimes, the melodies didn’t quite synch up, but when they did, it was in perfect unison, as if the two were meant to be played together. When his hands moved higher, so did her own, and sometimes she found herself playing one-handed, but when she started to move her hands lower, so did his. It was a perfect push-and-pull, almost as if- Hannah’s hand brushed suddenly against Alec’s, and she froze, her fingers against his, until she realized what was happening, what had happened, and that the soft, warm thing under her fingertips was actually his hand. Flinching, she took her hands off of the keyboard and put them in her lap, looking down at them almost bashfully, as if she were afraid of his reaction… mostly because she was. “S-sorry. I got a little carried away.” Understatement of the century.

[Deleted]

The second son of the Upper West Side Don certainly had secrets of his own, perhaps even tucked away from his own family for the safety of their own secrets, and perhaps in guarding them he was certainly less approachable than his grin-wearing brother who cared not for the goodness of anything aside from pleasure. And while it may seem to many others, perhaps including Hannah, that Alec was as cruel as his father, there was a little, tiny sliver of hope for the man could still smile in light of, well, pretty much everything. Stress took its toll on people and whittled them down to the very core of their body where the flesh was its freshest, and Alec was certainly not immune to everything… as hard as that was to believe for many.

Perhaps she got it all wrong. Maybe it was better to be unseen by society. At the very least, nobody was looking down on you with a microscope waiting for that one, split second when you fucked up. And the moment you did (if you did), they’d come running with a tank of gasoline and a fire-lit torch, ready to watch you scream as they burned you alive. That was the live of someone living in the public eye… of someone who actually did fuckin’ give a damn.

He hadn’t realized just how introspective he was being – how thoughtful he actually may have looked – until felt a colder, softer hand touch his. It was smaller in size and certainly more feminine. His eyes slanted downward in the direction of touching hands though his own did not flinch. She may have exhibited a blushing storm for a touch seemingly so chaste and innocent, and yet both of them were quite aware of society’s upturned nose and such a gesture that was so taboo. So while Hannah was doing the apology dance, Alec only merely… shrugged. “Still youthful,” he chuckled beneath his breath, his eyes glimmering with reminiscence… even though he wasn’t that “old” himself.

“Although I suppose, arguably, one could say that Eric’s still in diapers.” Face now turned fully in her direction, his brow quirked upward and his smile, while small, seemed rather intimidating. Even sitting down with the top buttons of his shirt unbuttoned and his sleeves rolled up against his forearm, Alec still maintained that air of authority. Even now, he would expect people to actually abide by it. And yet behind those intense blue eyes that were dark like the ocean’s blue, there was still a human.

“Your hands are cold,” he remarked rather nonchalantly. Without even asking permission (because Alec didn’t do that), he reached for one of those hands and held it in his own. It was ironic, wasn’t it, that the man with the cold, unforgiving heart would have palms warmer than a woman who seemed to absorb sunshine. “They say when it’s cold, you rub your hands together or—“ he shifted his hand slightly so that her fingertips were folded over the edge of his, then he lifted those cold little fingers up to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to them. He could feel their chilliness against his lips as he slowly drew back but not before lingering just a little.

“A duet,” he concluded. “That’s what the piece should be.”

[Hannah Parker]

Hannah was arguably the youngest person in this house. Not age-wise, that title went to Shira, but when it came to giving, or receiving, affection she just had no idea how to act, or react. Alec reached out and snagged her hand in one of his. Her eyes widened, her lips parted, and she stared as if she were frozen as he lifted his hand, and hers, to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her cold fingers. The heat from his lips made her shiver, though that wasn’t the only reason, and heat raced to her face as a pink blush covered her cheekbones. If she was cold before, she certainly wasn’t now. Alec lingered there, and she kept her eyes carefully trained on the sharp planes of his handsome face, as if she were trying to memorize each and every one. She was well aware of the repercussions of something like this but… she couldn’t bring herself to stop him, and she certainly didn’t want to right about now. It was a remarkably chaste gesture, but it was really the closest thing she had ever had to genuine affection, and a part of her wanted to push it further.

Alec pulled back. She exhaled, but didn’t pull her hand away from his.

“A duet. That’s what this piece should be.” Hannah’s first, outright smile stretched across her face. Did that mean he wanted to play next to her again? And, slightly less importantly in her mind, did that mean he… liked her? Or rather, did he return the feelings that she was so sure were one-sided? She didn’t want to dwell on these questions, she wanted to write off his actions as him simply being the gentleman she knew him to be, on being the sweet guy she had always hoped he was deep down. But those thoughts were there all the same, worming their way inside her subconscious and forcing her to second guess everything that was going on. “Yes… it should.” Was she agreeing to something? Was he even talking about the piano anymore? Or was there something more going on here? She didn’t know, and not for the first time, Hannah wished that she could read his mind. Unfortunately, she couldn’t. Those kinds of skills hadn’t been afforded to the “non-honors” students at Warren Academy, and though she wanted to learn them, she never had.

However, just because she couldn’t read Alec’s mind… didn’t mean she didn’t have ways of finding out what was going on, or at least some kind of idea. Shira. Surely her best friend would help her at least put things in perspective! She wasn’t stupid, she knew she had no future with Alec, and she knew she would likely never be anything more than his mistress, if she was even worth that to him. After all, she didn’t know if he was doing this because it was what he wanted or because it was what he thought she wanted. Still, she brought her eyes up to meet his, and before she realized what she was doing, she had leaned in, and her lips pressed against his.

She was gentle, and the kiss lasted only a moment, but in that moment, she felt like the world had stopped. His lips were soft, and she hated to pull away, but the second the came to her senses, and realized exactly what she was doing, that’s exactly what she did, her eyes wide. Shocked, she brought her fingers to her lips, how had she managed to do the one thing she had thought about doing so many times? Slowly, she lowered her hand, and bit down on her lower lip as if she were waiting for him to tell her to get the hell out of his house. But if he was going to do that anyways, well, might as well be honest. “I… am not going to insult you by lying to you, and I would be lying if I said I’m sorry…” There was a kind of fire not often seen in her as she looked at him, into those ocean blue eyes that always drew her in and kept her there, as he leaned back in…

Hannah blinked, returning back to the real world, Alec gazing at her with those eyes. She wanted to kiss him, but she… also didn’t want to drive him away. She had a good life, and she was exceedingly grateful and loyal to the man who afforded it to her, someone she considered a friend. Someone she didn’t want yanked away from her. She thought about pulling away but… she just didn’t want to. “We should play alongside each other again sometime, you’re an amazing pianist.” It really wasn’t hard to pay him a compliment, and she was being genuine, something that anybody looking at her, with that kind look in her eyes and that incredibly innocent look on her face, would be able to easily tell, particularly someone as shrewd and observant as Alec.

[Deleted]

Her assertion that she was the “youngest” person in the house simply because she couldn’t express or receive affection was indeed arguable. If that was the only criterion that made her “young,” then Alec must be an infant. Or, perhaps, a wall for that’s exactly what he did with people. He stone walled them and justified his cold heartedness with logical reasoning: it was for the good of his faction. Such a sacrifice was a given that neither of his siblings understood, for neither had to make such sacrifices of the heart. Alec only did once when he was a child for he really, really just wanted to ride horses. His father said it took up too much time, and that he could be doing something more meaningful for his faction, and so his dreams of competing with fellow equestrians in England were squashed in favor of him learning the ins and outs of seeking prime, secure investments… and perhaps figuring out which riskier investments would produce gold.

But perhaps part of his inability to “give people chances” as his younger sister would say was because of the fact that people were so fickle. They were hot and then cold, their feelings fleeting. Alec really had to look no further than his own father who jumped back and forth between Alec’s mother and Eric’s. It was grating, admittedly, but at some point, Alec just stopped… caring.

However, even Alec grew weary on some days. Even he admitted to needing company on occasion, especially company who could appreciate composition, notes, and music. His eyes slowly lifted to meet hers, and when they met he gave a slight pause if only because she looked so… vacant. Is that what women did after a polite gesture? Slowly, he pulled his hands away, letting it slip through pale fingers until only a ghost of their presence was imprinted in her memory. That somehow seemed to stir her… at least enough to make her blink.

Carefully, he shifted back in his seat and faced the piano with his eyes now running along the length of the keys. And though Hannah paid him a compliment, it was just so Alec to respond not to the compliment itself but to… something else entirely. “You ought to be careful when letting your mind wander while right in front of company,” he said rather matter-of-factly, not unlike his own father who scolded Alec for the very same thing. “It makes it quite easy for someone to take advantage of you when you’re the least prepared.”

He paused.

Then after a moment or two, he glanced over his shoulder to see her staring back at him. “Thanks,” he eventually muttered. “The composition is about… longing. I initially didn’t think about it being a duet—just one person longing for something. But I think… two people longing for something taps more into the audience’s hearts.”

[Hannah Parker]

Hannah was glad that Alec couldn’t see inside the depths of her soul and mind, though his eyes did seem to pierce it. If he had… oh god the thought alone was enough to make her want to turn a shade of crimson she had not even been sure she could reach. But no, if she did that he would know that she had… impure thoughts, and that simply would not do. After all, if he knew about that, if he knew and did not return her feelings, her longing, then what? It wasn’t like he could ever fully reciprocate them, not when he was poised to become the leader of his faction. The best she could hope for was to become his mistress, his woman on the side… and the worst was for her to be cast out on the street and replaced. It wasn’t like Shira didn’t have other, equally sweet and kind friends with whom she could connect. She knew how precarious her position in the upper west side was, and on the off chance that she didn’t… there was always someone around to remind her.

Still, while she was sitting in this room with Alec, she couldn’t deny that she felt a connection with him. It was strange, but she also knew that it was more than just friendship… at least insofar as her feelings for him were concerned. Alec, as usual, was being his enigmatic self, and she couldn’t help but feel a little… frustrated at it. It was then that he opened his mouth, and she felt her face flush a little more as she ducked her head, not unlike a small child being reprimanded. However, shortly thereafter, she raised her eyes again to look at him, the ghost of her blush still evident on the sloping peaks of those high cheekbones. In a different world, she could have been a model, but in this world, in 1920s America… she was despised for even existing, hated for breathing, and people she didn’t even know thought that she was damned to the fieriest pits of hell.

And they didn’t even know about the magic.

But this was neither the time nor the place to slip into her melancholy, and some would even suggest existentialist, mindset, not when she was, as he had so bluntly pointed out, right in front of company. That company spoke once more, and she found a small, almost sad smile. He was right of course, but what could the future Don of the Upper West Side have to long for? The world was in the palm of his hand, and anything he wanted… he could have. Then again… perhaps she didn’t know Alec as well as she thought, perhaps a part of her was still merely caught up in the façade that he presented to the world. Perhaps she was being self-absorbed again, and Alec had much of the same longings that she possessed: companionship, acceptance, tolerance, equality… But in the end, did their opinions even matter? Speaking quietly, she let her hand move forward, and play a few notes on the keys that had so mesmerized her just a moment before. “The question is, Mr. Van Alstyne,” a simple, but still somehow complex, rhythm sailed out from the keys before she dropped her hand back into her lap and looked up at him, her face an almost indifferent mask, save for the small hint of affection that glimmered in her eyes and the quiet smile on her lips, “longing for… what?”

It wasn’t until the question left her lips that Hannah caught sight of the clock, and felt herself gasp. The time had gotten away from her, and if she didn’t go get ready right now, she would be late for work. And it would not behoove her to be late. “Oh no… the time… I wish I could stay and play with you more Alec, but I have to work tonight and if I don’t go get ready now… I’ll likely be fired.” Standing quickly, she reached out and grabbed her wand, for now leaving the sheets of paper that had been painstakingly inscribed with the notes she had been playing on her own moments before Alec had come in the room in the first place. Walking quickly, she started towards the door, stopping in the doorway and turning to look at him, half of her face hidden from his view in the shadow of the frame and the other smiling gently at him. “Thank you, Alec, and if it matters any…” looking down at her feet, she felt her hair fall forward, and she resisted the urge to run off without finishing speaking what she had begun to say, “if you ever need a friend to listen, or someone to hide from the world with… You’re more than welcome to seek me out.” It probably didn’t mean much, but short of kissing him, she had zero idea of what to do or say in parting, and it was well-known that something like that was expected in high society.

But for now, she would have to put all that behind her, after all, the show must go on. And go on, it would.

[Deleted]

Longing for what? Longing for what?

His eyes slanted in her direction though not a word was uttered, not in this moment anyway when his mind was contemplative. There was a shell surrounding Alec, a secure, extremely thick shell that shielded him from the world and from anyone wanting to get to know him. And as cold as that made him seem to people, including Hannah, then so be it. He was, after all, his People’s whore, bred and raised to rule and manage an entire faction with those very people at the forefront of his mind. No one, absolutely no one, could possibly understand the amount of pressure that Alec, calm and cool Alec Van Alstyne, had to manage day in and day out.

So what was it that he longed for?

That was a question… he no longer asked himself for he had already accepted the fact that he was shackled to this faction regardless.

Alec had only just opened his mouth to answer when she suddenly jumped from her seat and stood, frantically glancing from the clock back to him… and then back to the clock again. “Yes, you better be on your way then.” Slowly, he closed his lips and turned to face her while still seated on the bench, nodding approvingly at her dedication to commitments and then turning back to the piano keys sullenly as he, yet again, found himself sitting by himself in front of the piano. A muscle in his jaw tensed as he gently set his fingertips on the keys once more, though his motivation to play at this moment was little. Quite frankly, he’d probably just go seek out a smoke.

He hadn’t expected her voice to drift from the doorway. He thought that she was just going to leave him then and there simply because his company was quite—well, quite intolerable (and perhaps insufferable). Her words, however, said otherwise.

Pulling his fingers away from the keys, Alec pushed himself to his feet and turned to her direction. Even with the top buttons of his dress shirt unbuttoned and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, he still seemed like the debonair British gentleman his mother and father had raised him to be. “My thanks, Hannah,” he said, this time referring her by name… and her first name at that. “Don’t be surprised if I drop by then.” He bowed slightly and then turned to face the window that looked out to the City when she slipped away.

---

– fin –